I heard it so often when I was young and now I find myself saying it now. I constantly am reminded of what I use to do and the times I came from, I joke with some of my coworkers that are around the same ages as myself and that's far and few between. I got to joking with one of the other guys close to my age and we talked about the jobs skills we have that we could use when we get out. I find myself all still geared toward weapons and ammunition, which some would say is sad and others would find much more focused.
As a whole I wonder though about so much these days, I find myself wanting to watch the world just burn because I am so tired of seeing all the madness and rampant stupidity of the world. Egypt being a prime example, yes they are right to push a foul man out but at the same time so many artifacts were stole or damaged in the museums. These idiots can't see fit to protect their heritage and value their history. I just don't get how anyone would want to destroy so much of their history but that's how it is with Islam. Destroy the history of a culture so it can't go back to its old ways.
I look back on all my deployments, I look and see what I am now and I wonder if I will ever be able to find the kind of woman that I can trust and depend on to keep the house safe while I am gone. Can I find someone that won't run off when times get hard and lonely. Things I don't do even when I have the option to do them because they are wrong. It's hard to see myself happy like so many others, more so with the lifestyle I'm into. So often the ladies who share it are more demanding of time and attention to make things work than a normal relationship. Don't get me wrong though it often produces a relationship that is far more close and binding but none the less it is very hard to get the needed time together because of the work I do so I find myself at odds.
However I think in the end what I want though is just a good love and to be remembered.
