Outbound

  So it's that time again, none too happy about it either.   So I'm packing again this time to return to South Korea, I hate that place I really do.  I wanted Iraq or Afgainastain or something where I could actually do my job.  Danger and fear be damned, but instead of that I'm playing the waiting game and going stir crazy in the mean time.  I envy the guys that have someone waiting for them or that can just go out and be man whores and not have any feelings about it.  My morals still get in the way of doing that, so does my honor.  Don't get me wrong; when I actually can find something worth having I hold on to it dearly and tightly, like I might drown if I let go.  I think alot of that comes from the fact that I have been denied a lot in life or have lost a lot. 

Regardless of it all, the few friendships and I mean true friendships and they know who they are.  I would gladly die for those people, I value them so much because of what they have taught me and the purpose they give me.  I've been told I'm foolish and silly for living a life like I do, constantly seeking purpose and reason.  But tis better to live for reason and purpose than to die never having known the satisfaction of completing something great and leaving a mark on the world or a person that could save it.  Butterfly effect also known as Chaos effect is such a beautiful thing.